Lost

Well, we all get lost at some point of our lives don't we. Now I'm at such a point where I feel lost, in fact I am lost. Lost in what sense? Well, I seem to know what I want. But more precisely, I know what I need to what. At some point between college and now I seem to have stopped talking to myself and communicating with myself. I know what I need to target for, to aim for in life. But I feel lost all the same. Why? Well, I know what I need to get here, and to a degree, Yes I am getting what I need. But recently I've been asking myself repeatedly a question that I no longer seem to have an answer for. What the hell do I want? Is this life the way I want it to be? Do I want myself to be like this now? Sure the results are coming in, but this is where I get lost. Seems to me that I stopped talking to myself a long time ago. I never do the things that I want to do now. Rather I do the things that I need to do now. I need to study to get good grades...I need to stay away from her because there can be no happy endings...I need this, I need that. But do I really want all this?