Lost: Part Two
Well, I guess I'm well and truly lost now. True enough, my self fulfiling prophecy came true (go figure which...) and somehow for some strange reason, socially I'm not any better than when I've started. For one, I'm still eating my lunches alone. I get my results for sure (I just got back another 'A' essay...) but....I feel kinda empty. You see, joy is born with a twin, happiness needs to be shared, alone its just hollow...The longer time goes by the more I realised how long ago have I stopped talking to m yself. Sometimes I'm telling myself that'll make myself and others around me feel better, even though I'm beginning to lose faith in my own rhetoric...maybe I have been lying to myself all this while...I don't wanna do all this do I. I want to soar in the skies, fly airplanes and do the stuff I want. I want a life. Unfortunately, I know the odds. Not impossible but pretty much immovable. For one, I know I can't be a pilot due to some factors. Secondly, I know its neccessary to do what I do (that is mug, mug n mug). But that doesn't stop me from feeling empty inside. Maybe it'll go away soon, but then again. Maybe I'm lying to myself.
posted by RAPIER at
9:03 pm
1 Comments:
Sweetie, I wanna fly too but you know PPL is expensive so do well in university and get a well-paying job, ya? We can always take our PPL together :)
I just asked my friend to join NUS netball team with me when she said she cannot bear the commitment. Then I asked,"Is that it to university life? Just study, study, study?" She said she was alright with it because she wants to be in that IVORY TOWER. One of my tutors said that this is the oppurtune time to do so because you only go through this stage once.
It didn't work for me because as much as I will go through university and my major course once, I am also 21 once. My youth comes to me once in a lifetime and when it's over, it's too late to be fluttering around like a social butterfly. Yeah, I can do it when I'm a nurse but the crowd is different. Whatever your job will be in future, Jiehua, these people will come from different backgrounds e.g. Science, History, Business and NOT PS, like you. So, what do we do now? Get to know your PS majors now. Approach the jocks and babes too. Contrary to what you think, they've got fewer friends than you because many ppl find them unapproachable due to the way they dress. Then go for outings with them :) I did find out my philo majors and we'll be going out soon. ALways remember that you are young once and it's not worth sacrificing your youth for just books in order to lead a happy life of success in future. You said it yourself, happiness is a twin. If so, who will you be sharing your future happiness with?
ALl the best for exams, Sweetheart :)
Love you loads!
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