Within, yet Without

Yup, I know the title is pretty pointless, but give me some time to explain. Well, lets see where do I begin...oh yes, one semester has gone already. So far had gone through yet another rollercoaster again...me and my bad habits of using my brain over my heart too much sometimes...(Do I even have one left? I thought its been shred long time ago...)Like all the other people I have around me, I am still as confused as ever even though I don't look so. Yes, I know I get my results, and I know that I seem to know what I want and where I am going...But do I? Somehow I just seem to stand apart from the rest of the people in school. Yes I am in school and yes I have made friends in school, but yet I still feel so...detached from school...detached from the people, detached from the school, detached from the rest of society, and detached from the rest of the world. I rest alone, I eat alone, I study alone and I am just...well alone. Yah, I know I am ungrateful to say this when my old college friends in school are with me often enough in school, yet I just feel so...strange and lost. Its like I'm within yet without...at the same time. Nevermind that I've got to know more people...but are they friends? I still can't quite figure this out, probably because I'm already weary of the vagaries of human relationships, not just between man and woman but also between friends...Guess thats why they say growing up means losing your innocence (not losing your virginity damnit, some lose it without growing up at all...) Hope to me seems further than ever, though there's light at the end of the tunnel, I know I still got a long way to go. Guess I'll just have to walk on and find out...