Social Development Service? What the..

Just got the shock of my life when I opened my mailbox today, saw the SDS logo and the newsletter. I thought: What the heck, must be for my sister, who just graduated from university last year. Then I looked at the name and I got the most greatest shock of this new year. Yup, its addressed to me....Now I know that our dear government knows every damn thing about us down to our underwear size, but how the hell did they find out that I'm a loser socially? Wow...

Anyway, out of pure (or should I say dumb...) interest, I flipped open the newsletter. After the usual content pages, the very next page was....voila!...Dating tips, how to behave during a date (both guys and gals...).. Oh the mockery of it all...seems like the whole world is trying to lend a hand to me and my fellow losers in this most natural of human endevours (the other being sex of course...to hell if I need help on how to do that one...) that is flirting, which strangely seems most unatural to us...The next time anyone volunteers to lend me a hand, I'm gonna introduce him to my fist...