爱, 只是个错觉 = Love is just an illusion

What is love anyway? Now more so than ever, love to me seems nothing more than just an illusion , a unattainable thing and worse still, a false sense of happiness. Now why would I be so pessimistic. Because this time I'm stuck in a situation that is a sense of Deja Vu for me. Why? Yet again I have to fight with a friend over this 'happiness', and after that all I get is nothing but pain. I am gettig pained now. She's sick and there's nothing much I can do or even show any concern, because I never have a chance to. Love is an illusion of happiness that bounds us all in bondage, living in the false sense of bliss when in reality its pain in equal measures, perhaps even more. Love is what we all aspire to, yet love is the one thing that will screw us up the deepest, as I found out 5 years ago. Why the sudden pessimism after the optimism, the friend in you may ask? Well, as I found myself caught in this familiar sense of deja vu, I found myself slipping further and further away from the happiness that eluded me for so long and I find myself slipping into madness and irrationality again(Ryan, you know what I mean)....Over the years, as I see people make up and break up around me, I became cynical and retreat into this protective shell...I'm tempted to just let go this time, but...I don't know.