Lost: Part Two

Well, I guess I'm well and truly lost now. True enough, my self fulfiling prophecy came true (go figure which...) and somehow for some strange reason, socially I'm not any better than when I've started. For one, I'm still eating my lunches alone. I get my results for sure (I just got back another 'A' essay...) but....I feel kinda empty. You see, joy is born with a twin, happiness needs to be shared, alone its just hollow...The longer time goes by the more I realised how long ago have I stopped talking to m yself. Sometimes I'm telling myself that'll make myself and others around me feel better, even though I'm beginning to lose faith in my own rhetoric...maybe I have been lying to myself all this while...I don't wanna do all this do I. I want to soar in the skies, fly airplanes and do the stuff I want. I want a life. Unfortunately, I know the odds. Not impossible but pretty much immovable. For one, I know I can't be a pilot due to some factors. Secondly, I know its neccessary to do what I do (that is mug, mug n mug). But that doesn't stop me from feeling empty inside. Maybe it'll go away soon, but then again. Maybe I'm lying to myself.