End of Year One(AY2005/6): Post Action Review

Goals set out at the start of the year:

1. Get Decent Grades

2. Try to get girlfriend

3. Grow as a person

Goals achieved:

1. Get Decent Grades

2. Grow as a person

1. Get Decent grades: Started the year after 2 years of national service and entered NUS. Decided to major in Political Science and achieved CAP score in Semester One of 4.3. Second semester was less motivated and had a major crisis that diverted attention from studies temporarily (see Goals not Achieved section). Luckily, grades did turn out decent and CAP retained at 4.3. However, there is a blackspot in the form of a B- in the grades of Political Inquiry (PS2102), which is a statistics module.
   Comments: In my opinion, 4.3 CAP score is quite decent. If continued to perform at this level, a second upper honors should be within reach. The second semester was nearly ruined by the slight blip that occurred and the lesson learnt is to separate school from private. Primary purpose in university is to study. Please keep that in mind.
   Remedial actions needed: To concentrate on studies and eschew most entertainment except the internet, friends like Darryl and James in NUS and Fariz and Ryan in SMU, and my photography(see 2^nd goal achieved)

2. Grow as a person: The year had seen me rediscover my capacity to love and perhaps stretched myself to new limits. I found myself grappling with 3 such situations within the last semester and managed to escape rather alive and well and rather much stronger for it. However, the minus side is that I had managed to revert to the form I attained in college and all the associated cynicisms that is unhealthy. However, this time I'd guess that I will gain new sense of direction.
   Comments: In my opinion, yes I did manage to grow as I overcame more and more disappointments and still manage to somehow retain my sanity. However, I did manage to get to catharsis stage this time which hadn't happened for 5 years. So this year I'd say is rather fruitful as a year in terms of my personal development. Now, I even manage to find a new avenue to channel that negative energy to and flex my creative muscle, all the while getting the people around me to notice my growth. Thats good.
   Remedial Actions needed: To keep my emotions under greater control this coming year so that I need not reach the sort of lows that I manage to get to the past 2 months. Also, I'd need to balance my personal growth as a photographer and as a student so that neither gets compromised. Also, now that I discovered new limits to myself, now I need to learn to utilise these new limits.

Goals that did not get achieved:

1. Get a girlfriend: Like mentioned earlier, I managed to find renewed capacity to love in the year gone by. There were 3 nearly and one of the 3 managed to be the one that pushed me past breaking point into new limits. First, the other two nearly beens got closer and closer in terms of probability of success. One I found out was entrapped in a relationship that she did not want to let go and decided to bow out without some struggle so that she need not bother herself with more such troubles. The second one I found myself in a similar problem of 5 years ago when I managed to find myself liking the same girl as my friend. So, I avoided by bowing out when it became clear that she is leaning toward him (as a sub note, turned out that they very nearly got together but didn't...pity) The third one is the one that managed to push me past my limit. Without going into details (I'd rather not...), I managed to get myself cheated and torn apart by the woman. As such, I do not recognize her as my friend now.

2. The problem: The problem is that I manage to trust people too easily and that I say what I feel too soon. In a world where everyone wears a mask in front of each other, that may be a liability. So the actions required is for me to do a better job at keeping my emotions under control and to be more questioning of people and things

AY2006/2007: Strategic Directives and Goals

Mission Statement:

The past year in university had seen me grow and stretched in many more directions that I hoped for. I asked for a fruitful year before the start from God and I got what I asked for. So I thank God that I am alive at the end of this rather interesting year past.

Whilst I had been pushed past my limits in the past couple of weeks, I am by no means a broken man. Though there is fragility in my heart, this heart is stout and shall never rest nor give up, for hope is alive. As such, I am dedicated to living life the only way I know it, the coming year and every year after this: To live life the only way I know, passionately and full of fire and never fear any challenge that comes my way, for I know that life has much more challenges for me. I will not gloat at the misery of others, nor will I despair in my own misfortune. I will live with compassion and love for my friends and family, and continue to find the perfect half for me.

Now that I have mapped out the way that I will live my life the next year, I will now outline the more specific goals that I have in mind for the coming year. This next year, the hope for a relationship shall take a backseat as my studies and my personal development takes precedence. I will aim not just to retain my current academic performance, but to push myself and utilise these new limits to achieve better grades of 4.5 CAP score, that is enough to secure me a first class honors. No longer will I satisfy myself with being second best. I had enough of being the second best in life. Now I will dedicate my life to achieve perfection, to achieve what only others dream of, to confront all challenges that come my way when attempting these goals with a stout heart and no fear, for life from now on will go the only way I want it to be.

In terms of personal development, I will pretty much follow the same path mapped out as above. Not only will I try to achieve ever higher levels in my personal development like photography, but I will also no longer satisfy myself with being at just acceptable level. I shall do what I can to achieve standards in photography, model building and my emotional control that others only dream of. When others break down and cry or shake their heads at the impossibility of the task ahead, I will only laugh and put my head down and attempt the impossible. For impossible is nothing.

On a final note, I thank God again for the fulfilment of my wish of a fruitful time the past year. Though extremely trying at times, nevertheless this provided a fantastic opportunity for me to grow and blossom, for now I know that there is so much more strength left untapped inside of my. My wish to the powers that be this year is the same. Grant me a fruitful year and throw whatever you can at me, for this is the only way that I can grow. I will show no fear nor will I shrink away from any challenges you give me from now on, and I will give nothing less than my best in the year ahead.

The MRT Station

My Photography Page

http://www.flickr.com/photos/61301244@N00/

=)

And I Thank God I am Alive

Without much notice, the first year of university had passed. When I started the school year upon disruption, I asked from above for a eventful and fruitful year. And boy was it fruitful and evenful! There were times of great joy and pride in what I do, and great emotional distress and turmoil in others. There were highs like good results and meeting new people and finding renewed abilities latent within to love again. And then there were the lows, times when I was so troubled that I unknowingly did stupid things that could've gotten myself in trouble or even dead. And now one chapter in my life closes, a new one opens. I gained some I lose some, I won and I had lost. I started with nothing and I ended the school year with not much... so it was a good year. I just thank whatever powers there may be above that kept me going and alive through the tough times and though I have not decided on my religious denominations yet, I remain in firm belief of some powers above, for this year proved to me more so than before of its existence. Miracles had occured, like how I managed to get decent results whilst in the midst of my greatest emotional turmoil in 5 years, and how I managed to discover a latent creative energy and see things I never seen before when I took up photography a month ago. And so now I end the school year not much older but infinitely wiser in a lot of things, and I just thank God that I am still alive.